allyberg’s blog

a simple life

Not my language-but it affects me March 17, 2010

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Blake and I were talking the other night.  He said something hurtful, and I went into shut down mode.  (This is how I have always responded to conflict…I know it’s not healthy, but lets move on.:)) The next morning he said something very profound to me.  He said, “For words of affirmation to not be your love language at all (It’s probably at the bottom of the five), words sure can hurt you.”  They mean very little when positive, but when negative, can crush me.  Why is this?  I do not consider myself a sensitive person.  And I must clarify, really they crush me most when they come out of Blake’s mouth.  So does that move words of affirmation up on the list?  If they can make me feel “unloved”, does that mean I do feel loved when they are spoken kindly as well?  I’d love to know your thoughts.

What are your top two love languages?  And maybe you can help me understand mine!

(In case you have never read The Five Love Languages, they are acts of service, quality time, physical touch, giving and receiving gifts, and words of affirmation.)


Thankful-#3 November 25, 2009

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And this will be the last until Thanksgiving is over…but today, I am so thankful for my man and my amazing girls.  I had no idea 14 years ago, when I met Blake for the first time, that our life together would be such an adventure.  Blake makes the most of moments better than any person I know.  He is the memory maker in our family, and without him, we would be dull and boring!!  Baby, I love you more today than ever before…

My four girls are a blessing to my life every day.  I sometimes feel as though I don’t savor every moment like I want to.  But I do love and cherish my four little blessings with much joy!  I thank God every day for the life He has given me!

As we enter into the actual celebration of Thanksgiving, I challenge you (and myself) to live in the very moment God has given you!  Thank Him often for what you DO have over focusing on what you DON’T!

What is it you are most thankful for this year??


Thankful-#2 November 24, 2009

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Alright, so what else am I thankful for?  I am SO thankful for my extended family!  Since the passing of my mom, I have been blessed with a step-mom, Anita, who loves and adores my dad.  They are so cute together.  And with her, came 3 wonderful new siblings.  And then there is Mom and Dad Bergstrom, who have been very supportive over the years with all of our adventures!  Blake has two brothers, Barry (and his wife, Tammy and their four precious kiddos) and Brett (who is patiently waiting for the one for him)!!  And then my sister and Greg, and their three boys!  And I can’t leave off Greg’s parents, who are like second parents to me.  I love them as my own!  I’m just overflowing with gratefulness for the love that pours out of these people.  Sometimes family can get sticky and messy, but they will always befamily.  And this Thanksgiving, I want to celebrate them!


Thankful #1 November 23, 2009

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Since it’s the week of Thanksgiving…I want to spend it posting the people and things that I am especially thankful for!!  So this post is a shout out to my friends.   Just this morning I reconnected with a long lost childhood friend.  (thank you facebook)  Her mom was one of my mom’s best friends.  She was in fifth grade when she lost her mom to cancer.  I was 23 when I lost mine.  None the less…we spent a lot of time together as kids and then she moved, and I moved…and time passed.  She was still there for me when my mom passed away.  And today, this holiday season, I was gifted a piece of my mom.  Thank you, Melissa,  for finding me on facebook and letting me share how much like family you were  to me growing up.  This morning’s conversation was more of a gift than you can know.

So here is my challenge to you.  Is there anyone in your past or present that you need to thank?  Is there a friend that you may not have talked to (even for no particular reason) that you need to thank today for their role in your life? I do…I have several!  So I will start…

Thank you Krista, Hillary, Katie, Marcy, Brandi, Marla, Chris, Tricia, Valli, Christianne, Julianne, Melissa, Cyndi, Marilyn, Mandy,  Bob, Robin, and the list goes on and on…but thank you from the bottom of my heart for the role you have played in pushing me toward Jesus!

Thanks to my memory keeping sister, here is a picture of Melissa and I with our sixth grade teacher…be kind as you see me as an awkward little girl!


Making a Difference November 17, 2009

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This past July I was blessed to get to go on a short term mission trip with our church to the Dominican Republic.  I tried my hardest to soak in every sound, smell, taste, and thought I had on that trip.  I left there different than before.  I wanted to give back to G.O. Ministries.  Jeff and Vicki Rogers are a precious couple who truly love the Lord, and have a heart for the Dominican people.  If you live in a city that has a Kroger Grocery Store, you can help Jeff and Vicki just by buying groceries!  I would encourage you to go here to check it out!  Here are a few pics from this past summer:


Expecting… November 16, 2009

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hands holdingHello blogging world…I am back from my blogging sabbatical!  After writing 5 blog posts, one needs to take a 7 month break…in case you didn’t know that!

I know what many of you who know me might be thinking…is she pregnant?  It says she’s expecting…they have four…does she not know how that happens?  🙂  In every sense of the word…NO!!!  NO WAY!  NOT IN A MILLION YEARS!!!  We are “finito” when it comes to having children!  (I feel like I should say “Lord willing” after that statement for some reason!)  Anyhow…nobody in this household is expecting a baby!

There is some expecting going on around here though.  And I would venture to say there is expecting happening in your life too. I have recently been reawakened to the fact that I have too many expectations, of myself, my children, my husband, my family, my friends.  I happened upon this quote yesterday, and it has been echoing in my heart.

“Whatever men expect, they soon come to think they have a right to.  The sense of disappointment can, with very little skill on our part, be turned into a sense of injury.” -C.S. Lewis

I recently had a conversation with my man about trying not to have any expectations of people.  I realized that when I have unspoken expectations, I tend to find myself disappointed.  But after reading this quote, I realize I actually find myself “hurt”.  So, I am taking on a challenge to myself.  When I realize I am disappointed in a situation or in a person, I am going to put perspective on the disappointment by trying to drop the expectation and realize I created the disappointment by expecting in the first place.  We’ll see how it goes!  The truth is the only person I can have expectations of, and not be disappointed,  is God.  In the Psalms (5:3), David talks about his faith in God.  Because of that faith, he CAN expect.

“In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice;  in the morning I lay my prayers before you and wait in expectation.”

I can trust God.  People and circumstances may disappoint, even hurt me due to my expectations, but if I can trust God’s best, then I can have an expectation of Him to hear my heart and not fail me.  What can I expect from Him?  Faithfulness. Period. His best may not be what I foresaw, but it is BEST!

So my question for you, do you struggle with unnecessary expectations?


Because He lives!!! April 8, 2009

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Okay, so I don’t know if this song is in my head because it’s fitting this time of year ( as if it isn’t the rest of the year?)!  But yesterday I couldn’t quit singing the good ole hymn, Because He Lives.  I started to sing the verses…I know…pretty amazing that I can remember the verses!  This was one of my mom’s very favorite songs.  She would go around the house singing it, lay in her bed singing it, in the car singing it.  So how could I not at least know verse one!!  🙂  Yesterday, I was singing the first verse and then the chorus that follows, and realized (a lightbulb went off) just why this was my mom’s favorite song.

You see, Rebecca Odessa Moore Rankin, known to many as Becky, and my sister and I as “Mama”, was in severe pain most of her adult life.  She had been in an accident when she was in her late twenties and never recovered from the severe back pain that never went away, even with several back surgeries, chiropratic visits, or painkillers.  My mom spent a lot of my childhood in bed hooked up to contraction.  She did her ever-lovin best to keep a positive attitude even with the severe pain she experienced.  She had other health problems too.  Heart trouble, migraines, diabetic, high blood pressure.  And the list goes on.  There were times when I was older, and the pain only got worse for her through the years, that she would say to me, “Babe, there are just some mornings I wish I didn’t wake up.  I wish the Lord would just take me home to him while I am sleeping so I wouldn’t have to hurt like this any more.”  But then there were days that she would sing this song.  And now I get it.  I understand why!  So I looked up the song online because I wanted to know ALL the verses.  I believe my mom just might have been humming the last verse with a HUGE smile on her face!

And then one day, I’ll cross the river

I’ll fight life’s final war with pain

And then, as death gives way to victory

I’ll see the lights of glory, and I’ll know He reigns

Because He lives….I can face tomorrow.  Because He lives, ALL fear is gone.  Because I know HE HOLDS THE FUTURE, and life is worth the living just because He lives.

Man, all those years my mom was hurting so bad she wanted to go Home to be with her Savior, and yet even with the pain she was experiencing and fighting through every day, she knew this life here on earth was worth living JUST BECAUSE HE LIVES!

Thanks Mom for the example of perseverence you gave all those around you.  I can’t wait to see you again and tell you all the life lesson you taught me and didn’t even know you were teaching me!

Anything we go through here on earth is worth living through it, to experience Christ here.  Here while we are walking humanity,  and then ultimately in our forever home with our Heavenly Father one day!  I am so thankful this season for the sacrifice He made so I could live here and now.  Even if hardships are thrown my way.  The joy of knowing He is growing me to be more like Him, is worth living through it. I don’t want to miss the Real Life He has for me here.

Of course I look forward to eternity with Him!  Come Lord Jesus…until You’re back to take us home…help me to live life to the fullest here on earth!

What’s your favorite old hymn?  Is there a reason it’s your favorite?  Please share!!!


Secret pleasures! February 10, 2009

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So this weekend Blake gave me some alone time!  And since I am an introvert, it is alone time in every since of the word!  There are times that I really want to go out with the girls, and then there are time I literally don’t want to have to talk to any one!  🙂 And Sunday afternoon was one of those times!  One of my secret pleasures is going to thrift stores!  My sweet mother in law, Drexell, is a pro at finding great deals at thrift stores!  So I have had the joy of getting to go to these stores with her over the years!  Blake went to thrift stores growing up!  So we have gone to them often!  When I first started going, I was kinda taken off gaurd by the “organized chaos”, but over time have grown to appreciate it!  I enjoy looking at all the dishes, home decor, games, appliances, and clothes that people have considered “junk” and thrown into their Goodwill piles to get rid of.  I am one of those people as well.  And ya know what…when you buy something like a coffee pot from a thrift store and only pay a buck fifty for it…you don’t feel near as guilty about throwing it out!  So anyway… back to Sunday…there are several thrift stores on the main street close to our house.  So I decided to go spend some time pleasuring myself with other peoples junk!  The last store I went in was kinda overwhelming.  It was really messy, the music was blaring, and for a Sunday afternoon it seemed REALLY busy!  (especially for a thrift store)  But as I proceeded to shop…and I found a treasure!  I found a khaki colored denim jacket for $1.08!   Absolutely nothing wrong with it!  Not one thing…except that it smelled like a thrift store!  So you better bet I bought that jacket right there! A DOLLAR and a DIME later…I had a myself a really cute jacket.  I came home, stuck it in the washer, and like a little girl with a new shirt, wore my jacket to Bible study the next morning!  I love it when I find great steals! I am sure there aren’t many of you out there who enjoy thrift stores the way my family does, but if you are one of the few…I would love a buddy to go with next time!

So tell me…what’s a secret pleasure you have?


Are you ready for this! February 6, 2009

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Alright…so I have to let you all know how my grocery experience went this week!  I only did a few things different, and turns out-it REALLY made a difference!

First of all, and I have done this since the birth of our third daughter, I wrote out a two week menu and corresponding grocery list!  This time, cause I really wanted to spend the least amount possible, I did things like tacos one day and then a few days later, taco soup with the leftover taco meat.  I also did chili and then a few days later, frito chili wraps.  This probably made a difference in the amount that I spent.

Then, I decided to switch to dry milk.  We are not huge milk drinkers.  I use milk in recipes, and the fam uses it in their cereal, but that is about it!  So I decided to try it, and the fam didn’t complain!  I personally haven’t tasted it, cause milk doesn’t agree with my body!  But the rest of the family was okay with the switch!  A box of the powder was about $5 and I have a feeling it will last our family about two weeks!

The thing I did that made the biggest difference was doing majority of my shopping at ALDIS!  This is a small grocery store where you have to bag your own groceries and pay a quarter ( that you get back at the end of your shopping experience!) to get a shooping cart.  Also, if you plan on trying it out…bring your own grocery bags or you will pay six cents a piece for theirs! What I couldn’t get there I bought at Kroger…who knows if I had gone to Walmart!!!  🙂

So here is the grand total!  For two weeks of groceries, including fabric softener, detergent, paper towels, and dishwasher tabs…I spent $160!!!  That would be $85 a week, $12.15 a day, $4.05 per meal!  And that is for a family of six!  WOW!  I must say…I am very proud of myself!  If you all are interested…I will post my breakfast, lunch and dinner menus (snacks too if you are interested)!

I am still reading all of your ideas as you send them to me!  This is almost like a gme for me!  I am going to continue to try to see how cheap I can shop for and still eat as healthy as we possibly can!

I can’t believe my whole family can eat for so little…makes me convicted to spend less so we can give more!  We use to spend around $150 a week.  We could take almost half of what we have budgeted per week for groceries and give it to someone who needs it more!  Wow…I am excited!


Pinching Pennies! January 27, 2009

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So I am motivated to have the cheapest grocery budget ever!!!  I know with four growing children and two adults I might be unrealistic, but I am going to try anything!  (even baking my own bread!)  I am not a baker, but I am going to give in a shot!  I figured I get to stay at home and be with my family all day, I can do something to help out!!!  So I am asking you all out there…what does your monthly grocery budget look like?  Tell me on average what you spend and how many are in your family!  I want to cut it down to maximum $100 a week!  Feel like it can happen, not sure how!  Thanks in advance for any advice you might have for this “tight-wod” mom!!!